Thursday, 30 August 2007

The master controller

An observation on how John Howard turned the government into his personal fiefdom.

The master controller - National - theage.com.au

Discussion about poverty in Australia

There is an interesting discussion going on at The Age about poverty in Australia. John Howard's recent denials about the impact on poverty in this country seem to have brought out a very strong anti-Howard feeling.

The tide really does seem to have turned. Call an election now John and let's get this over and done with. Time's Up!

The Age Blogs: Your Say

Sunday, 26 August 2007

English will be the common language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!

Friday, 24 August 2007

Kid(ney)napped

I haven't seen this reported in the media, so I wonder if it's actually true or not. Interesting and disturbing story either way...

This is a copy and paste repost of a story in another blog.

Don't talk to strangers!

1. This it seems, has been confirmed, the Medical Centre phone number at the end of this story is real. This guy went out on a Saturday night a few weeks ago to a party. He was having a good time and had a couple of beers and some girl seemed to like him & invited him to go to another party.

He quickly agreed & decided to go along with her. She took him to a party in some apartment and they continued to drink, & even got involved with some drug (unknown). The next thing he knew, he woke up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs, but looked around to see he was alone.

He looked down at his chest, which had CALL 000 or YOU'LL DIE" written on it with lipstick. He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub so he Picked it up & dialled. He explained to the EMS operator what the situation was & that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really calling. She advised him to get out of the tub. He did, and he appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did, he found two 9 inch slits on his lower back. She told him to get back into the tub immediately, and they sent a rescue team over. Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of what had happened. His kidneys were stolen. They were worth $10,000 each on the black market. Several guesses are in order: The Second party was a sham, the people involved had to be at least medical students & it was not just recreational drugs he was given. Regardless, he is currently in the hospital on a life support, awaiting a spare kidney. The University of Sydney in conjunction with the Royal Prince Alfred hospital is conducting tissue research to match the victim with a donor. I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting business travellers. This ring is well organized and well funded, has very skilled personnel & is currently operating in most major cities around the world and recently very active in Sydney .

The crime begins when a business traveller goes to a lounge for a drink at the end of the work day. A person in the bar walks up as they sit alone and offers to buy them a drink. The last thing the travelers remember until they wake up in a hotel room bath tub, their body submerged to their neck in ice, is sipping that drink. There is a note taped to the wall instructing them not to move and to call 000. A phone is on the small table next to the bath tub for them to call. The business traveller calls 000 who have been quite familiar with this crime. The business traveller is instructed by the 000 operator to very slowly and carefully reach behind them and feel there is a tube protruding from the back. The business traveller finds the tube and answers "YES". The 000 operator tells them to remain still, having already sent paramedics to help. The Operator knows that both of the traveller's kidneys had been harvested. This is not something out of science fiction novel. It is real.
It is documented and confirmable. If you travel or someone close to you travels, please be careful. Sadly, this is very true. My friend's husband is a Sydney EMT and they have received alerts regarding this crime ring. It is to be taken very seriously. The daughter of a friend of a fire-fighter had this happen To her. Skilled doctors are performing these crimes! (which, by the way have been highly noted in the Brisbane area). Additionally, the military has received alerts regarding this.

I REALLY WANT AS MANY PEOPLE TO SEE THIS AS POSSIBLE SO PLEASE BOUNCE THIS TO WHOEVER YOU CAN.

Michele Shafer
DML/Lab Administration
Medical Manager Research & Development
99 Missenden RD , Camperdown, Sydney 2000
Tel:(029)5156111;Fax:(029)4621505

2. I was approached yesterday afternoon around 3.30pm in the Coles parking lot at Noranda by two males, asking what kind of perfume I was wearing. Then they asked if I'd like to sample some fabulous Scent they were willing to sell me at a very reasonable rate . I probably would have agreed had I not received an email some weeks ago, warning of this scam.
The men continued to stand between parked cars, I guess to wait for someone else to hit on. I stopped a lady going towards them, I pointed at them and told her about how I was sent an email at Work about someone walking up to you at the malls, in parking lots, and Asking you to sniff perfume that they are selling at a cheap price.

THIS IS NOT PERFUME - IT IS ETHER! When you sniff it, you'll pass out and they'll take Your wallet, your valuables, and heaven knows what else. If it were not for this email, I probably would have sniffed the "perfume", but thanks to The generosity of an emailing friend, I was spared whatever might Have happened to me, and wanted to do the same for you. These guys hit Sydney And Melbourne 2 weeks ago and now they are doing it in Perth and Queensland .

I called the police when I got back to my desk. Like the email says, LET EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS, YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, CO-WORKERS, whoever!!!!!

Thursday, 23 August 2007

As flat as the Nullabor

David Hasselhoff (Germany's Number 1 male singer...) singing This is the Moment on the finale of America's Got Talent.

My ears are still bleeding!

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Chain reaction

Call me a sicko but I found this funny...

Friday, 17 August 2007

Clarke and Dawe: political opera

Clarke and Dawe: political opera

I think this could be even funnier than last week's!

16/08/2007 - John Clarke and Bryan Dawe on the high notes of the week in politics.

Video: Real Media (hi) | Real Media (lo) | Windows Media (hi) | Windows Media (lo)

Read the transcript.

Thursday, 16 August 2007

Clarke and Dawe: Mastermind

Clarke and Dawe: Mastermind


This has to be the funniest Clarke & Dawe segment for a long time.

"Shut ya face - you'll be in jail before the end of the day..." Classic

09/08/2007 - John Clarke and Bryan Dawe play political Mastermind.

Video: Real Media (hi) | Real Media (lo) | Windows Media (hi) | Windows Media (lo)

Read the transcript.

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Broady Monopoly


Not one to like stereotypes, I thought this was funny none the less. Click on the picture for the full-size version.


Friday, 3 August 2007

Clarke & Dawe catchup

These three weeks of Clarke and Dawe cover the big names in the Australian political scene embracing YouTube, John Howard's 68th birthday and Kevin Andrews' bungling of the Haneef case.

Enjoy!

Clarke and Dawe: Kevin Andrews

02/08/2007 - John Clarke and Bryan Dawe give their take on the twists and turns in the Mohamed Haneef saga.

Video: Real Media (hi) | Real Media (lo) | Windows Media (hi) | Windows Media (lo)

Read the transcript.

Clarke and Dawe: the birthday

26/07/2007 - Clarke and Dawe celebrate a special birthday.

Video: Real Media (hi) | Real Media (lo) | Windows Media (hi) | Windows Media (lo)

Read the transcript.

Clarke and Dawe: YouTube

19/07/2007 - Clarke and Dawe talk about mixing politics and YouTube.

Video: Real Media (hi) | Real Media (lo) | Windows Media (hi) | Windows Media (lo)

Read the transcript.